Oprah of the Future...

My little girl who is seven years old is the most darling thing in the world. J Of course, as her mother I would say that about my own child. However, I am proud to say that! I became a mother at 21 years old, and I was young and rambunctious. Although, I had the greatest intentions of being a good mother, I was hardly prepared for the long complicated journey ahead of me. I embraced the road ahead graciously! From day one it has been just her and I for the ride of life, every step of the way good or bad she has been right along with me. On days when I want to throw my hands up and give up, she is the REASON why I keep going! That smile and just the fact that I know she needs me, is my MOTIVATION.

When she was just an itty bitty baby, I tried to make sure I did everything right. I kept a routine for bath time, bed time, and her overall schedule. I gave her love and nurtured her with the tools that a mother should in order to make her prepared and ready for the world. My only prayer for her was that I was raising a humble and respectful child. I put strong emphasis on teaching her manners and making sure she was gracious and poised.

Fast forward seven years, through everything that we have been through I am so proud of my little angel from GOD. When my world is not as happy as I would want it to be, it seems that God always sends a message through others that I am doing the right thing. I receive compliments, daily, and great praise about how I am a GREAT mother. I am not one to take credit for things that are done with ease but on this one [being a great mother] I sure will!

This year, she began to go to another school, which was different from the previous school that she had been to for her elementary schooling. I was afraid that the children would treat her different because she came from a different environment. She went from going to a predominately white school, to a school where the majority of children are black. She came from an environment where it is and was accepted and expected to have great communication skills; therefore, she is a talker. I prayed that her new school would accept her for who she is, an outgoing and well spoken kid.

A few weeks into school, as I was dropping her off at school she said, “Mommy the kids at school call me Oprah”! I strangely looked at her and repeated her statement. Not knowing how she was taking her new nickname, I took a breath because after all it was funny, and proceeded to ask her how did she feel about it? She gave the demeanor that she wasn’t bother by it in one way or another. So I informed her that is a good thing to be referenced to Oprah. Jokingly, I told her that “when she grows up as long as she gets Oprah money she would be okay”!

Although, many have their views on Oprah and how they feel about her, she has longevity! Oprah has overcome so many barriers in her life and has a great from nothing to something story to inspire all of us. After all she is the wealthiest black woman in the world, a BILLIONARE. With a talk show that has been in syndication for over twenty years, that is something amazing within itself. I can’t think of any other show that has been on as long as hers has been on television.

Two months into school, once again I am at my daughter’s school doing my motherly duties of picking her up after school. As she was coming down the hall, another student leaving to get on her bus said to her, “See you later, Oprah”. Again, I stood in shock. Defensively, I asked the little girl, “Why do you call my baby Oprah”? She casually said because she talks, with the tone as if lady you know that already. I laughed it off and we went home. My daughter excitedly said, “See mommy I told you they call me Oprah”.

Now into November, I am back to picking up my daughter from school and it seems like the Oprah hysteria is ongoing at her school. As soon as I arrived to picked her up, I hear the announcement on the loud speaker, “Oprah, please report to the car riders your ride is here”! Unable to control my laughter, I asked the office personnel, “Why do you call my baby Oprah”? And, the response was one that ALWAYS warms my heart. “Be proud of her, she is a star… she is the future and she will be the NEXT Oprah! “

Be Blessed, signing off…

Mrs. Make It Happen

In Memory of Shaniya Davis

Today was a sad day for ALL of those with a heart and soul and a love for their children. First thing this morning, I woke up, kissed my daughter, got her ready for school, fixed breakfast, and walked her to the school bus. I kissed her again, wished her a GREAT day at school, and waved good bye. Unfortunately, that is not something little five year old Shaniya Davis will not experience.

Sadly to say but, today, Shaniya’s body was recovered along a North Carolina Highway in a shallow grave. Just to write this brings tears to me, and I was praying for a positive outcome. After reading about how her own mother, Antoinette Nicole Davis, was being charged with human trafficking and other charges, I knew in my heart that this was not going to be a positive situation.

Sunday evening, I watched the news and the story about how little Shaniya’s disappearance was unfolding and I was heartbroken. It was heart wrenching to watch her father cry uncontrollably, and plead with the public for her safe return. His pain was so great and unbearable; I could never imagine what he might be going through. I prayed that this father was reunited with his daughter.

Through published reports, it was cited that Shaniya’s father had primary custody of her for the last four years. However, over the course of the last six months her mother had showed that she had stable housing, and held a job. He was a father (with) wishful thinking and obviously had the best intentions for his daughter. He wanted to reunite his daughter with her mother. A dream that was very short lived! Shaniya had only been in the care of her mother for a period of three weeks before the terrible chain of events.

As a mother of a little girl, to even hear this story was devastating… and when it was announced that her body was found, I shed tears myself. My little girl sat next to me and said, “Mommy why are you crying”? I had to take a moment to get my thoughts together in order to best explain it to her. The first thought that went through my head was how could a mother be so cruel? I truly believe our jobs as parents are suppose to love, protect and defend our children from the evils of the world. There is nothing more evil for a five year old girl, than your own mother prostituting you.

And, what makes this story even sicker is not the fact that a mother would prostitute her own child, but to see video footage of a grown man carrying this innocent five year old child down a hotel hallway.

I just shook my head at this GROWN ASS MAN, carrying a child into a hotel room for sex like a groom would his bride on their honeymoon. It is just enough to make one sick.

There are so many issues that are puzzling. The first issue is beyond Shaniya’s father wanting to have his daughter bond with her mother, he had been raising her for four years. There had to be some signs subconsciously that her mother was not capable of raising her. The second issue is what was the motive for any reason beyond sheer stupidity and greed to feel that your child’s body can be expendable and put up for sale to the highest low-life bidder. And, my final issue is how and why does a grown man or anyone for that matter think that having sex with a child is remotely kosher.

Because, I am a mother that is over protective and communicates openly with her child; I have instructed my daughter to recognize when an adult is doing something shady, or that they should not be doing. I feel in many cases adults that engage in this type of behavior are going to try to prey upon the child when there is no one else around. I have taught my daughter that if she is ever in a compromising situation, to SCREAM one of all of the three following phrases: “Get the hell off me”, “What the hell are you doing”, and “What the hell would your momma say”? My daughter is seven and I had to make sure that she was in tuned with the fact that there are people in this world that are not friendly, and will try to hurt kids.

I pray for little Shaniya Davis. I feel sorry that your mommy failed you but God will take care of you! I pray that her father is able to heal from this situation. He made an honest assumption; regretful, it turned out not to be a good judgment decision. Hug your child(ren) today, as for I have hugged mine. It takes a whole village to raise a child, what are you doing to strengthen your village? God Bless.

*Please turn into April Sims and the Peace Man discussing Shaniya Davis on blogtalkradio

Take a chance on something new!

Well, today was "Therapy Thursday"! As I love expanding my mental health so much. So, I discussed the run of the mill stuff that I do. Then, I briefly I started to talk about this gentlemen that I have been dealing with recently.



This particular gentlemen is not the typical guy that I would date. However, there are a lot of things about him I like. He has great conversation and an excellent communicator! He is sensitive and a good listener as well. I enjoy the time we share. However, there are some "signs" to could be "red flags"!



For example, he has two kids by two different women. This is not a problem for me but the way he deals with them does generate problems. See, he has a daughter by one woman and does not see the daughter. Him and the mother can not communicate. Therefore, he does not see the child. He has stopped paying child support because she won't let him see the child.

On the other hand, the relationship he has with his son's mother is unclear. However, it appears that he has a better relationship with her. He will take the son and spend time with him, frequently.

Now, the reason why I am bother by all of this is because I have a daughter. Although, he is not my daughter's father and I don't know anything about the circumstances their relationship(s). I do know that because my daughter is girl, her father could care less about her existence. Men being so fixated on the sex of their child is stupid to me. Child are children, and they didn't ask to be here. Little girls need their father just as much, if not more...

Moving forward, as I spoke with my therapist. I discussed how I same resembles to my daughter's father. Things that were good and things that I didn't like... We didn't get into a deep conversation but I did ponder about whether or not I was going to continue to see him. I had kind of distanced myself from him because I didn't want history to repeat himself. Then again, I thought to myself he could be different.

So as I was driving down the road, I called him. He answered. The conversation was easy and free flowing. He kind of in a round about way said that he missed me, and vice versa. He asked why hasn't he heard from me, and I told him--space. As the conversation proceeded, he said you know what-- "You are like my daughter's mother"! I laughed, and said you remind me too much like my daughter's father, and honestly that's why I haven't been calling because I didn't want to get caught up with something I dealt with before. we talked about our past relationship issues for a while. I can honestly say that I was able to distinguish a difference. I felt a little more comfortable about dealing with him.

In closing, you may meet someone new that may remind you of someone from the past. However, they may not be that person that you thought you know. You may be able to take the girl part of the person from the past and have a future with someone new. Long story short... take a chance! You never know what you may discover!

Peace & Blessings...

Mrs. Make It Happen

Telling someone how you feel is never a bad thing!

I have so many friends, young & old, and I always notice that many of them have the same core issue. Many people are searching for love. Love is a BIG thing. When we don't have it, we are often lost and confused, and left unsure with where to go. However, when we have love there are no limits to where you can go.

Example, I look at my own family dynamics. My Grandmother was not raised by her Mother, for reasons is still unclear to me. Although, the relationship between my grandmother and I was wonderful. The relationship between her and my mother was horrible. They spent years bickering and arguing, not speaking to each... and being in competition among themselves. Now, from the part of their relationship that I saw... it was rarely positive unless they were shopping. However, they never really spent good quality time together. I rarely saw my grandmother hug my mother just for no reason. Now, this brings me to the present time. As a child growing up, my mother's love was more financial and material than emotional and physical. So growing up, I was always under the impression that love was monetary or in the form of a gift and/or present.

However, in my teenage years I was quick to learn that money and material things just didn't matter. When I was going through my rough times, my mother was almost always emotionally disconnected. I was so angry that my mother was never there for me. She always was too busy with her own problems. Later on in life, by developing my own path in life, examining my family dynamics, and trials and tribulations I learned a few key factors about my mother. First, off she spent most of her life being depressed. Second, she didn't handle relationships well. Third, she spent a lot of time hiding her pain and was a functioning alcoholic. Now, what does all this mean? It means that it probably wasn't that she didn't love me or doesn't want to love me but that she was fighting her own demons and didn't know how.

As a teenager, I found myself in many situations that could have probably been avoided, if I just had a mother's love. A warm sense of being. When I was about 16, my mother put me out of the house. Primarily because the alcohol spent most of the time occupying her mind. So she would have these violent fits of rage, and want to fight. She didn't want to be responsible for my younger sister, which was mainly the cause of many of our disagreements. So long story short because I wanted to be a normal teenager, go to the movies, hang with my friends, and go to the mall; I was punished by being thrown out of the house.
Where did I end up? On the streets, associating with shady characters and doing things that were just not cool.

One day in my troubled teenage days, I went to visit a friend. I will remember this day for the rest of my life. I thought I was just going to say hey to my homie but I found something else there that day. I walked in the house and to my surprise her mother was there. She was standing in the living room, and didn't say one word to me. What she did next astonished me. She opened her arms and gave me the biggest hug. I cried. I had been through so much, and was so confused about being alone and on the streets. I was so thankful that this almost stranger at this point, felt I was important enough to show her affection.

From that day on, I ended up staying with her for quite a while. I spent months living with her and learning about love through her actions. Now, it was so funny what life teaches you. I was always under the impression that love comes from the wallet but at this stage in my life I have finally learned what love means and that love it comes from the heart. This woman became very instrumental in my life, to the point where I called her momma and she treated me as her daughter.

A few year ago, she passed away. Again, it is funny where life takes you. At the one point in my adult life where I was able to have a positive relationship with my mother, my momma was dying. I was devastated! I lost one of the only people in my life who loved me. Someone who was unafraid to say it or show it! Her legacy was the fact that she loved me for who I was, good or bad. If I was imperfect for a day, a week, a month, or even a year... it was alright in her book. I am so thankful for that, I would not be the woman I am today if I didn't have someone to show me the true meaning of love.

Now, that I am of age and a parent of my own. I am so grateful to have learned the lessons of love. Through my experiences, I am able to teach me daughter how to love. Showing love and receiving love are powerful things. I love my daughter for who she is. Although, she is a WONDERFUL child and I would love to give her the world. I give her the gift of love. Love is one of the things you can always keep.

Six years after my daughter's birth, I can't stand her father. However, if she ever asked I will tell her that she was conceived out of love. When her father and I were making her, we were very much in love. I loved him from my head through to my toes. It is so important for her to know that because almost seven years later, we can't stand each other. However, truth be told there are many things I still love about him. If he wasn't such an ass, I would have tried to make it work. However, our relationship was not going to be conducive to my future.

In closing, it is ok to tell someone you love them. When you share your feeling for a person, not only are you allowing yourself to be vulnerable but you are making someone else feel good, too! I tell my friends all the time, I love you! At first many are taken off guard, not because I said it but because they don't hear it. The world is such a cold place. So tell someone you love them, express your feelings. I tell people all the time that I love them. This is a way of letting them know I value their friendship, and I care. Have you told someone that you loved them, today?

Peace & Blessings...

Mrs. MakeItHappen