In Memory of Shaniya Davis

Today was a sad day for ALL of those with a heart and soul and a love for their children. First thing this morning, I woke up, kissed my daughter, got her ready for school, fixed breakfast, and walked her to the school bus. I kissed her again, wished her a GREAT day at school, and waved good bye. Unfortunately, that is not something little five year old Shaniya Davis will not experience.

Sadly to say but, today, Shaniya’s body was recovered along a North Carolina Highway in a shallow grave. Just to write this brings tears to me, and I was praying for a positive outcome. After reading about how her own mother, Antoinette Nicole Davis, was being charged with human trafficking and other charges, I knew in my heart that this was not going to be a positive situation.

Sunday evening, I watched the news and the story about how little Shaniya’s disappearance was unfolding and I was heartbroken. It was heart wrenching to watch her father cry uncontrollably, and plead with the public for her safe return. His pain was so great and unbearable; I could never imagine what he might be going through. I prayed that this father was reunited with his daughter.

Through published reports, it was cited that Shaniya’s father had primary custody of her for the last four years. However, over the course of the last six months her mother had showed that she had stable housing, and held a job. He was a father (with) wishful thinking and obviously had the best intentions for his daughter. He wanted to reunite his daughter with her mother. A dream that was very short lived! Shaniya had only been in the care of her mother for a period of three weeks before the terrible chain of events.

As a mother of a little girl, to even hear this story was devastating… and when it was announced that her body was found, I shed tears myself. My little girl sat next to me and said, “Mommy why are you crying”? I had to take a moment to get my thoughts together in order to best explain it to her. The first thought that went through my head was how could a mother be so cruel? I truly believe our jobs as parents are suppose to love, protect and defend our children from the evils of the world. There is nothing more evil for a five year old girl, than your own mother prostituting you.

And, what makes this story even sicker is not the fact that a mother would prostitute her own child, but to see video footage of a grown man carrying this innocent five year old child down a hotel hallway.

I just shook my head at this GROWN ASS MAN, carrying a child into a hotel room for sex like a groom would his bride on their honeymoon. It is just enough to make one sick.

There are so many issues that are puzzling. The first issue is beyond Shaniya’s father wanting to have his daughter bond with her mother, he had been raising her for four years. There had to be some signs subconsciously that her mother was not capable of raising her. The second issue is what was the motive for any reason beyond sheer stupidity and greed to feel that your child’s body can be expendable and put up for sale to the highest low-life bidder. And, my final issue is how and why does a grown man or anyone for that matter think that having sex with a child is remotely kosher.

Because, I am a mother that is over protective and communicates openly with her child; I have instructed my daughter to recognize when an adult is doing something shady, or that they should not be doing. I feel in many cases adults that engage in this type of behavior are going to try to prey upon the child when there is no one else around. I have taught my daughter that if she is ever in a compromising situation, to SCREAM one of all of the three following phrases: “Get the hell off me”, “What the hell are you doing”, and “What the hell would your momma say”? My daughter is seven and I had to make sure that she was in tuned with the fact that there are people in this world that are not friendly, and will try to hurt kids.

I pray for little Shaniya Davis. I feel sorry that your mommy failed you but God will take care of you! I pray that her father is able to heal from this situation. He made an honest assumption; regretful, it turned out not to be a good judgment decision. Hug your child(ren) today, as for I have hugged mine. It takes a whole village to raise a child, what are you doing to strengthen your village? God Bless.

*Please turn into April Sims and the Peace Man discussing Shaniya Davis on blogtalkradio

Telling someone how you feel is never a bad thing!

I have so many friends, young & old, and I always notice that many of them have the same core issue. Many people are searching for love. Love is a BIG thing. When we don't have it, we are often lost and confused, and left unsure with where to go. However, when we have love there are no limits to where you can go.

Example, I look at my own family dynamics. My Grandmother was not raised by her Mother, for reasons is still unclear to me. Although, the relationship between my grandmother and I was wonderful. The relationship between her and my mother was horrible. They spent years bickering and arguing, not speaking to each... and being in competition among themselves. Now, from the part of their relationship that I saw... it was rarely positive unless they were shopping. However, they never really spent good quality time together. I rarely saw my grandmother hug my mother just for no reason. Now, this brings me to the present time. As a child growing up, my mother's love was more financial and material than emotional and physical. So growing up, I was always under the impression that love was monetary or in the form of a gift and/or present.

However, in my teenage years I was quick to learn that money and material things just didn't matter. When I was going through my rough times, my mother was almost always emotionally disconnected. I was so angry that my mother was never there for me. She always was too busy with her own problems. Later on in life, by developing my own path in life, examining my family dynamics, and trials and tribulations I learned a few key factors about my mother. First, off she spent most of her life being depressed. Second, she didn't handle relationships well. Third, she spent a lot of time hiding her pain and was a functioning alcoholic. Now, what does all this mean? It means that it probably wasn't that she didn't love me or doesn't want to love me but that she was fighting her own demons and didn't know how.

As a teenager, I found myself in many situations that could have probably been avoided, if I just had a mother's love. A warm sense of being. When I was about 16, my mother put me out of the house. Primarily because the alcohol spent most of the time occupying her mind. So she would have these violent fits of rage, and want to fight. She didn't want to be responsible for my younger sister, which was mainly the cause of many of our disagreements. So long story short because I wanted to be a normal teenager, go to the movies, hang with my friends, and go to the mall; I was punished by being thrown out of the house.
Where did I end up? On the streets, associating with shady characters and doing things that were just not cool.

One day in my troubled teenage days, I went to visit a friend. I will remember this day for the rest of my life. I thought I was just going to say hey to my homie but I found something else there that day. I walked in the house and to my surprise her mother was there. She was standing in the living room, and didn't say one word to me. What she did next astonished me. She opened her arms and gave me the biggest hug. I cried. I had been through so much, and was so confused about being alone and on the streets. I was so thankful that this almost stranger at this point, felt I was important enough to show her affection.

From that day on, I ended up staying with her for quite a while. I spent months living with her and learning about love through her actions. Now, it was so funny what life teaches you. I was always under the impression that love comes from the wallet but at this stage in my life I have finally learned what love means and that love it comes from the heart. This woman became very instrumental in my life, to the point where I called her momma and she treated me as her daughter.

A few year ago, she passed away. Again, it is funny where life takes you. At the one point in my adult life where I was able to have a positive relationship with my mother, my momma was dying. I was devastated! I lost one of the only people in my life who loved me. Someone who was unafraid to say it or show it! Her legacy was the fact that she loved me for who I was, good or bad. If I was imperfect for a day, a week, a month, or even a year... it was alright in her book. I am so thankful for that, I would not be the woman I am today if I didn't have someone to show me the true meaning of love.

Now, that I am of age and a parent of my own. I am so grateful to have learned the lessons of love. Through my experiences, I am able to teach me daughter how to love. Showing love and receiving love are powerful things. I love my daughter for who she is. Although, she is a WONDERFUL child and I would love to give her the world. I give her the gift of love. Love is one of the things you can always keep.

Six years after my daughter's birth, I can't stand her father. However, if she ever asked I will tell her that she was conceived out of love. When her father and I were making her, we were very much in love. I loved him from my head through to my toes. It is so important for her to know that because almost seven years later, we can't stand each other. However, truth be told there are many things I still love about him. If he wasn't such an ass, I would have tried to make it work. However, our relationship was not going to be conducive to my future.

In closing, it is ok to tell someone you love them. When you share your feeling for a person, not only are you allowing yourself to be vulnerable but you are making someone else feel good, too! I tell my friends all the time, I love you! At first many are taken off guard, not because I said it but because they don't hear it. The world is such a cold place. So tell someone you love them, express your feelings. I tell people all the time that I love them. This is a way of letting them know I value their friendship, and I care. Have you told someone that you loved them, today?

Peace & Blessings...

Mrs. MakeItHappen